Love Means Sacrifice
by geekischic
Summary: He could have kissed her lips, but he didn't. It's just one more sacrifice he has to make because he loves her. Spoilers for "Rose."


He's in pain from the moment he sees her enter the room, beautiful wearing just shorts and a cami. She's surprised to see him, as he knew she would be, but this needs to be done. His heart wrenches at the thought of what he's about to do, knowing it isn't fair or right but that he still has to do it. He needs to tell her what he's denied far too many times, despite how true it is.

And so Damon rises from his seat on the windowsill and stands just in front of Elena, his undead heart beating erratically in his chest as he looks into her chocolate brown eyes. She looks wary and confused until he finally says it, those three little words that have been haunting him since Isobel first brought the fact to his attention. _I love you_, he tells her, and she looks shocked and unsure of what to say, but in the end, it won't really matter. She won't remember this anyway.

He tells her that he doesn't deserve her but Stefan does, because it's the truth and needs to be said. And despite her confusion, he knows that she believes him. This is the most honest and selfless he's ever been with her, and he knows that she has to believe him if he's this raw, this _real,_ with her_._ But this is far outside his comfort zone, far beyond anything he's allowed himself to feel in the past century and a half, and he knows that if she remembers this it will only cause trouble between the three of them, for Stefan will always be in the picture too. He knows that there can never be just the two of them, because Stefan will always be there. Forever and always, pining after Elena, who loves him beyond words. And that's why Damon knows Elena needs to forget the fact that he's in love with her. The compulsion will protect her from the hurt it would cause her otherwise.

It's a sacrifice he has to make because he loves her.

The vervain necklace dangles from his fingertips as he steps closer to her, for his lips are tingling with the urge to kiss her. There's a voice in the back of his mind that tells him to bring his lips to hers and kiss her like he's wanted to for oh so long, but he knows he could never do that to her. He knows that if he truly loved her, and he most definitely did, that he could never betray her like that. He could never enjoy the satisfaction of kissing her if it meant he had to trick her to do it. And that's why he presses a kiss to her forehead instead of her lips. It isn't enough for him, and it would never be enough, but for now, he would just have to settle for what he could fairly take.

It's one more sacrifice he has to make because he loves her.

A tear slides down his cheek as his electrifying blue eyes change to compel her. His voice cracks as he orders her to forget that he ever visited her tonight, and the tear gathers in the corner of his mouth as he steps behind her to refasten the metal chain around her neck. His fingers linger on her soft skin for just a moment before he exits her room through the still open window. It's just one more memory he gathers into his collection of her, for the little details are all he'll ever be able to have. He won't ever be able to know what it's like to kiss her or hold her or hear her tell him she loves him, but he could always have the little memories to soothe him. The sound of her laugh, the way her smile lit up her face, and now, the way her soft skin felt like heaven under his fingertips- those were the only memories he could have of her.

It's just another sacrifice he has to make because he loves her.

He doesn't even allow himself one last look at her before he leaves because he knows it would hurt far too much to remember her this way- eyes blank and unseeing as the compulsion takes hold of her. A strange feeling gathers in the pit of his stomach as he leaves her, and it take him a moment to understand what it is. It's something he hasn't truly felt since he was human, which is why it was so foreign to him now.

Guilt.

Guilt over the compulsion plagues him as he closes the door to the boarding house behind him. He wishes there was a better way to handle his love for her, but knows things have to be this way. She could never really know the truth, despite how much he wanted her to. And so he wanders up to his room with pain in his heart and the picture of her confused eyes in his mind, wishing that his love for her didn't require so much damn sacrifice.

**-End-**


End file.
